A conversation with a purpose has a structure you can learn. IPMERC names that structure after its phases: Intro, Probe, Match, Expand, Rules of Engagement and Close. Each phase has its own goal, and you move on once that goal is met. A weak conversation almost always misses a phase, and afterwards you can usually point to which.
Why the order is fixed
The order carries the logic. A proposal before you have asked questions lands on a need you do not know. Agreements about how you will work together, made before the other person shows interest, are agreements about nothing. The order is fixed, the entry point is not: when someone calls you, the opening is already done and you start at the Probe.
Each letter is also a skill on its own. An email needs an opening. A progress talk needs good questions. The last paragraph of any message needs a close.
I: Intro
Goal: give the other person a reason to spend the time. Say who you are, what you do and why you are calling now, then ask an open question. The reason decides whether the conversation happens at all. Make it specific, recent and about their situation rather than yours, and keep it short.
'This is Sam, I recruit for IT and finance roles. I saw that your team opened a role for a data engineer last week, and those roles often stay open longer than planned. How is the hiring going so far?'
Weak openings give no reason: 'I just wanted to introduce myself' or 'Do you have a moment?'
P: Probe
Goal: find the need behind the request. Ask open questions: facts first, then where it gets stuck, then what happens if nothing changes. Most of this phase is listening. Ask for clarification when a word like 'growth' or 'stability' could mean anything, and summarise until the other person agrees. Write down their words, because you need them in the Match.
Consultant: 'What makes this role harder to fill than the last one?' Client: 'We need someone who can also talk to the business.' Consultant: 'What does talking to the business look like on a normal day?'
With a candidate, the questions cover the role they want, why they would leave, salary, other processes, timing and how they will decide.
M: Match
Goal: tie what you offer to the need you heard. Pick the points that answer that need, not everything you have, and build each as a FAB: feature, advantage, benefit. Use the other person's words, then check that it landed.
'You said the new person must be able to talk to the business. The profile I have in mind led the requirement sessions with finance in a previous role. That means your team gets someone who translates requests without a go-between. Does that match what you need?'
E: Expand
Goal: widen the field and surface expectations before they become problems. Use suppose-questions: they test how much room there is without asking for a promise. A no on a detail then does not become a no on the whole.
To a candidate: 'Suppose the salary were a little lower, but the work exactly what you want. Would you consider it?' To a client: 'Suppose the right person asks for more than your range. What happens then?'
R: Rules of Engagement
Goal: agree how you will work together, once the other person has shown interest. Think of a balance: I do this for you, you do this for me. Cover openness about parallel processes, feedback after every round, preparation for each round and when you will be in touch.
'If I send you profiles by Friday, can you give feedback by Tuesday? And if you start talks with other parties, will you let me know the same day?'
Agreements made with someone who has not said yes are agreements nobody feels bound by. If there is still doubt, you are handling an objection, and that has its own route.
C: Close
Goal: confirm the next step, with a date. Summarise in the other person's words, confirm who does what, and make clear why the next step happens now. Here a closed question finally fits, because there is something to decide. A close holds an action, an owner and a date.
'Let's keep in touch' is no close. 'I will call you on Thursday afternoon, once you have read the profiles' is.
Common mistakes
- Pitching in the Intro, before you know the need.
- Asking a question and answering it yourself.
- Skipping Expand, so salary or timing surprises you at the end.
- Making process agreements with someone who still doubts.
- Ending with good intentions instead of a date.
Practice
Write the Intro for a call you will make this week, with a reason that is specific, recent and about the other person. Then write the open question that starts your Probe, and a suppose-question for Expand. Read all of it aloud. If the reason could fit any company, rewrite it until it fits only this one.